Wednesday, 1 January 2020

Amour FAQ



  • What is Amour?
  • Amour is a platform for Queer persons to find long term companion(s). This is designed to be inclusive to the whole spectrum of LGBTIQA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Asexual and many more) persons and to different kinds of bonds. Click here for the common guidelines of this platform that all members are expected to adhere to.

    Please note that Amour is just a space and a tool to increase our chances of connecting to like-minded people, the success of finding partners entirely depends on how efficiently it is made use of by its members.
  • Why the name 'Amour'?
  • Amour has many meanings in many languages. In English/French it means love. Amour, when read as 'Amar', in many Indian languages also mean Immortal (as in अमर प्रेम कथा). Hope this platform can be used to create some of the happy long lasting bonds. Amour (written as আমার) in Bengali means 'mine' representing the possessiveness in a bond. Amour (if written as అమ్మోరు) in Telugu also means Shakti, the Goddess of creation, reminding us that all colors of queer are part of the same creation. 
  • How does it work?
  • STEP 1: Prospective members can get added to the group by existing members or reach the admins by messaging to Amour Facebook page.
  • STEP 2: After some basic verification, admins will approve them to Amour secret Facebook group and also assign a Amour Unique Profile ID (eg. AMR0944).
  • STEP 3: Members are then advised to create their profile by filling the following Google form. You can fill in one or more languages with the same Amour ID. Amour profile database access is given to only those who fill atleast one of these forms. Once you fill the form, you can request (give your Amour ID in the request) to join Amour Google Database sharing group, to get access to Google spread sheet having everyone's profiles.
  • STEP 4:Members can optionally post their profile content (what they filled in the above sheet) in the secret group to increase their chances of finding partner(s), attaching their pictures so that other members can express their interest. If you are not comfortable to post your own profile, ask a friend or an admin to post on your behalf
  • STEP 5: You can either search through posted profiles in Facebook secret group or browse through all of them in Amour data base XL spread sheet. You can view only the relevant ones in XL sheet by applying the filters (Refer to the last question in FAQ on how to apply filters on Google database XL sheet). 
  • STEP 6: If you like any profile, you can click "Express Interest" link beside each profile in the database which will be forwarded to the person.
  • STEP 7: Amour plans to have regular meetups or speed dating events in various cities or Amour members catch up at different Queer events. So meet other Amour members in these places and get to know each other and it may help you with your dating prospects.
  • I am closeted but still wants to find a partner. Can I not join?
  • Admins typically add only those FB profiles having valid personal details and own pics to Amour. But if you are closeted and do not want to display your own name or pics in facebook profile, Admins can still add you if an open Amour member vouches for you.
  • What are the steps taken to protect privacy and security of Amour data base XL sheet?
  • We have taken the following measures in this regard.
    • Amour data base XL sheet is accessible only to those who created a profile.
    • Amour data base XL sheet is protected with settings such a way that, no one can download the sheet, nor copy the content (Cntrl+C doesn't work). Members can only view it online (with or without apply relevant filters).
    • Amour data base XL sheet doesn't have display of name, number or email id but only Amour Unique Profile ID.
  • But we still DO NOT RULE OUT data leakage to external persons. So we advice you to use your own discretion while filing the form to what extent of personal attributes (such as age, job, passions etc.) you may want to give.
  • What is AMOUR PROFILE ID?
  • AMOUR PROFILE ID, is a unique ID given to you by the admins/moderators when they add you. When someone likes your profile, they can either comment on your profile post (to which you can reply) or contact you through the admins using this Amour profile ID.
  •  Can I join the group without filling this form or creating a profile?
  • Although YES, we still recommend you to create a profile for two reasons. One, a detailed profile with Amour means,more chances of dating and Two, Amour database spreadsheet viewing permission is given only to those who create a profile with Amour.
  •  You are asking too many personal details like Gender expression. Are they really needed?
  • We agree that they many not be needed but there may be people who would like to declare them so that unwanted people don't approach them. Since anyway these options are OPTIONAL, feel free to ignore them or fill with "Prefer not to declare".
  • I find an important thing in the google form or group guidelines missing?
  • Please bring in to the notice of admins/moderators. 
  • Can I start a debate or post something other than a dating profile, in the Facebook secret group?
  • We do NOT encourage to use this space for debates unless absolutely necessary. We recommend you to use groups like Goodasyou, Yaariyaan, HH, GB for such a purpose.If you have any questions about the functioning/guidelines of Amour, please feel free to reach out to admins through a message/e-mail. They would be happy to answer.
  • Can I trust the people I see in Amour group or database and start meeting/dating them?
  • NO. Amour is like any other online platform. You can NOT trust anyone blindly just because they are part of Amour. Please use your own desertion and judgement when you chat with or meet someone. Admins, moderators or other members of Amour are NOT responsible for any unwanted incident that may happen to you when you befriend/meet people through this platform.
  • I have created an Amour profile by filling the google form but I still can't get access to Amour database?
  • You must have chosen to not give your email id when you filled the google form. You can simply attempt to to join Amour Google Database sharing group  (give your Amour ID in the request), to get access to Amour database Google spread sheet. 
  • If I like any person's profile, How do I contact them?
  • You can simply click on "Express Interest" link beside each profile in one of the last two columns in the XL sheet. 
  • WE DO NOT ADVISE MEMBERS TO SEND FRIEND REQUESTS OR MESSAGES RANDOMLY TO OTHER MEMBERS WITHOUT A GIVING REASON ON WHY YOU LIKED THEIR PROFILE OR WHY YOU MAY WANT TO DATE.
  • What makes Amour different?
  • Amour is a safe platform for plurality within Queer community. For eg. It is not just for those who believe in gay marriage (or Gay Shaadi) or traditional monogamous relationship, It's also for those who believe in other kinds of unions such as polyamory, open relationship, unions involving non-binary gendered ones. It's also open for those seeking aromantic or platonic relationships or those who may or may not believe in emotional or physical fidelity or infidelity. Along with those who believe in having a gay life partner (gay jeevan saathi, gay husband, gay wife, Prince Charming, Princess Charming , Mr.Right, Ms.Right, Mr.Gay Right, Lesbian life partner or a queer life partner etc.), Amour also includes people who believe in impermanence of bonds or those living in the present moment as long as one is honest and transparent about their requirements and constraints.

  • There are too many profiles in the database XL sheet. Can I search a profile based on a criteria?
  • Yes. Google sheets allow you to view the XL sheet by applying any filter to each column. Use the following instructions to create your own filter when you view the sheet.
  • STEP 1: CREATE A FILTER: 'Data' Tab-> Filter Views -> Create a new temp filter view
  • STEP 2: APPLY THE FILTER BASED ON ANY COLUMN: Click on the down arrow/triangle on first row element of any column and go to 'Filter by values'


  • STEP 2a: YOU CAN APPLY THE FILTER BASED ON AGE COLUMN TOO: Use "Filter by condition" option

  • STEP3: NOW VIEW THE SHEET WITH REDUCED CONTENT BASED ON THE CRITERIA YOU APPLIED IN THE COLUMNS. 


Amour - Guidelines

Amour, is a platform for all queer (LGBTQIA+) people to find long term partner(s). It is just a tool to help us and the success of it only depends on how well we use it. In order to increase its success, these are a set of guidelines, the moderators/admins of Amour have agreed upon and expect all its members to understand, respect, appreciate and adhere to.


  1. This platform is open to any LGBTIQA+ person looking for long-term partner(s) and who is at least 18 years of age. It is preferable if the person who wishes to join this platform, to have some connection with India (and a valid Facebook account and gmail ID for now).
  2. The group shall have a setting where moderators need to approve each post. And they have instructions to approve only detailed profiles looking for partners and important discussions, questions or news items, filtering out unwanted forwards or Goodmorning/Goodnight and other funny posts. Moderators can consider approving other posts only on case by case basis.
  3. Each person can define their own terms for the consensual relationship/union that they want and no one else interferes with their choices unless violence/abuse is reported. The platform doesn't endorse any one form of relationship/union.
  4. This platform shall NOT tolerate homophobia, bi-phobia, trans-phobia, inter-phobia, queer-phobia and other forms of bigotry including Personal attacks and name calling. Profiles having offensive content (such as that against effeminate men, trans persons or certain body types or skin color) or preferences such as those based on caste/creed/race can be deleted by admins any time. We encourage positive public comments from members. However, if they want to give corrective feedback for any profile, it may be done privately. The admin’s decision is final in case of a dispute.
  5. A member can a create dating profile by filling the google form (without giving any name/number but only unique Amour ProfileID) which can also then be posted in the secret Facebook group (with or without a picture). This profile will also be present in the Amour database XL sheet which is accessible to only those who created a profile.
  6. The content of this platform, group and spreadsheets are confidential. No member is allowed to copy or share this content outside this group without prior permission from admins and the profile owner. Those who violate this are liable for legal action.
  7. Individuals having Facebook profiles without their own pictures or personal details will be allowed to join only if an open member vouches for them to the admins/moderators. This aims to filter out 'fake' profiles while allowing genuine closeted queer people.
  8. Members are advised NOT to send friend requests or messages randomly to other members without going through their profile or knowing you think you may be a match for them. It's good if they mention their Amour Profile ID when they approach someone.
  9. Members are advised to use their own discretion when meeting, befriending or dating someone from the group. Being part of this group does NOT automatically make anyone trustworthy. Precautions that one would otherwise take when you befriend people through online forums, are very much applicable here too. Admins, moderators or other members of Amour are NOT responsible for any unwanted incident that may happen to you when you befriend/meet people through this platform.
  10. While these guidelines are not expected to change drastically in future, Admins of Amour reserve the right to change them anytime in future based on the inputs from members, feedback from experts or their own experience in this journey.